Written by (作者): Peter L. Abram
Photos by (图片来源): Tupian.hudong.com
One glance around the room is enough to validate John’s observation. Along with their obvious psychological issues, some of the addicts openly sport untreated head wounds. It’s a confronting sight. I’m surprised at how old so many of them are, but one girl stands out. She sees me. Her stringy legs and haltering gait carry her over to our impromptu assembly. ‘Rosie’ is John’s partner and she’s there to pick up a bag of needles and have a medical professional examine her thrombosis. She shows me an open wound in the crook of her arm. It’s like a small purple volcano. I look into her eyes. They’re bloodshot. I ask her if she’s ever been in trouble with the police.
“They catch ya. They’ve got their cameras everywhere,” says the blonde teenager. “Filming the deals as they go down. The bloody Response mob roll in here and put the ice-heads in the wagon. They keep us for a few hours. That’s bloody terrifying for sick people just looking to get some peace of mind. When the Jacks (police officers)?start hanging around, everybody just moves across town. Later on, we all come back.”
The threat of arrest is still no real deterrent in the fractured mindsets of the users that now surround me. They have their avoidance systems, which weren’t available back in the day. The advent of the mobile phone has provided a means of staying out of the clutches of the law. Their standard system involves users locating and joining a group of?addicts at set times of the day. For the newly arrived, the posses are not hard to spot but acceptance takes time. Any trustworthy drug user can run with the mob but everyone on the street is wary of undercovers. At prearranged?times, and when all have the right money on hand, a series of text messages state the required amount of drugs, and the number of people involved. Dealers relay instructions, normally involving a meeting point in a quiet neighboring street or laneway. Upon liaising, the entire transaction is over in a matter of seconds. Addicts then?disappear to consume their substances before returning to the streets to beg or hustle for the next fix.
I try to ask about Treatment, but John is dismissive. He cites the additional problems his addiction to methadone has caused him, for more than a decade. Like many users, John claims there is no promotion of drug abstinence by the primary medical specialists working in this area. Contemporary treatment programs tend to focus on signing?the addict up for a lifetime dependency on legal substances. Committing to a course of treatment, involves time-consuming bureaucracy, and a level of personal subjugation that is repellent to those who need it the most. Ultimately, the user would rather spend that time and expense on procuring the multitudes of illicit substances?available throughout the city. It’s a seemingly intractable public syndrome.
“There’s something people don’t realize about meth-heads,” says Rosie. “Most of the users you see around you were mentally ill before they got onto the meth. It was something to keep them stable and a lifestyle around people who would not judge them harshly. But it doesn’t last. They go downhill pretty quick, no thanks to the Jacks.”
I look at my notes and know I’ve got some good stuff. It’s odd, but I feel like I’ve made some new friends. Now it’s time to wrap up. At the far end of the room, the twisted figure of an elderly addict begins to twitch. He shuffles to his feet. He wants to know what’s going on. We share a glance and I shoot him a smile, but it’s not returned.
“I know you,” he says. “You were a cop. You set up my brother. You set him up!” “Steady on,” I say. “I’ve never been to this part of Melbourne. You’re thinking of somebody else.”
He advances, pulls a syringe out of his pocket and rips the cap off with his teeth. “Mikey stabbed ya. He killed ya. You were dead. He died in jail. I never forget nothing. I’m gonna finish you off.”
The pleasant group-chat is over. I search every pair of empty eyes for sympathy, but their glares are hostile. Rosy grabs my notes and I release them without a struggle. Slowly, I retreat as the man waving the syringe moves towards me. I turn and run, out onto the street, through the laneways and across the town square. I’m moving at pace. There’s not even time to say goodbye to Tolstoy. Ten minutes later, I’m at the wheel of my car and I tell myself repeatedly, what I should have told my editor.
You’ll never go back to that.
You’ll never go back to that…
只需在房间里扫一眼就足以证实约翰的观察。这些吸毒者有明显的心理问题，有人公开炫耀未经治疗的头部创伤。我亲眼看着这些，惊讶于很多人的年纪之大，但是一个女孩脱颖而出。她看见了我。她的腿瘦长，迈着僵硬的步伐加入我们的即兴讨论。“罗西”是约翰的伙伴，她拿起一袋针，对她的血栓症进行专业的医疗检查。她给我看她臂弯上紫色小火山似的裸露伤口。我看进她的眼睛，它们布满血丝。我问她是否和警察有过纠纷。
金发少女说：“他们抓年轻人。他们到处安装摄像头，将毒品交易记录下来。残忍的警察大举包围那里，将吸毒者抓进货车，将我们拘留数小时。对于只想要获得一些心灵宁静的病人来说，这场面是血腥恐怖的。当警察经常在这里出没时，所有人都逃离了这个城镇。后来，我们又回来了。”
被逮捕的风险对我身边这些精神失常的吸毒者并没有真正的威慑力。他们有一套以前没有的规避体系。这套标准体系包括吸毒者定位和在每天的特定时间加入吸毒团伙。对于新加入的人，团伙里的成员并不难认出，但是需要时间接纳。任何一个可靠的吸毒者都可以和暴徒来往，但是街上的每个人都得提防密探。在事先安排好的时间里，人们准备好钱，用短信告知所需要的毒品量以及人数。药贩子们通常在一条安静的临近街道或小巷集合，接力完成指令。通过这种方式，整场交易在几秒钟之内就能完成。之后，吸毒者消失不见，在再次上街乞讨或争取下次交易之前尽情享用他们的既得品。
我想问问治疗的事，但是约翰对此不屑一顾。他提起了十几年来美沙酮成瘾导致的其他问题。和许多成瘾者一样，约翰声称在这个地区工作的初级医学专家并没有进行戒毒宣传。当前的治疗项目主要集中在让成瘾者同意终生依赖合法药物。整个治疗过程既浪费时间又涉及最令成瘾者反感的自我克制。最终，他们宁愿将时间和金钱花费在全城范围大量购买违禁药品上。这似乎是个难治的公共综合征。
“关于冰毒吸食者，有些事是人们不知道的。”罗西说，“你所见到的绝大多数成瘾者在接触冰毒之前就患有精神疾病。冰毒能让他们平静下来，待在一群不会尖锐评判他们的人中间。但是好景不长。感谢警察，他们每况愈下。”
我看了下笔记，知道自己已经得到了一些有价值的资料。这很奇怪，但是我感觉自己交到了一些新朋友。现在是时候结束了。在房间的尽头，有个上了年纪的成瘾者佝偻着身躯，抽搐起来。他颤颤巍巍地走过来，想知道发生了什么事。四目相交的瞬间，我朝他笑了笑，但是并没有得到回应。
“我认识你，”他说，“你是个警察。你出卖了我兄弟！你出卖了他！”“冷静些，”我说，“我从来没来过这里，你认错人了。”
他向我走来，从口袋里拿出注射器，用牙齿将密封袋撕开。他说：“米奇刺伤年轻人。他杀死他们。你该死。他死在了监狱里。我永远都忘不了。我要杀了你。”
愉快的群聊结束了。我挨个看向每一双空洞的眼睛，试图找到些许同情，但是他们都对我怒目而视。罗西一把夺过我的笔记本，我毫不反抗地松了手。一个男人挥着注射器朝我走来，我缓慢地后退，转身逃跑，跑上街，穿过巷道和城镇广场。我步履匆匆，甚至没时间向托尔斯泰告别。十分钟后，我开着车，不断对自己说着我本该告诉编辑的话：
你永远不能再回去
你永远不能再回去……
Bio
Peter Abram is a British/Australian ex-serviceman, former performing poet and award winning promoter who has organized music shows the world over and has made multiple appearances on Western media. Now a resident?of Ningbo, he is working on his second novel, Night of the Infidel. Peter is Director of English Language Studies at Ningbo City College and holds a Master’s Degree in Educational Management.
Peter Abram是英国/澳大利亚退役军人，也曾是一位诗人。他组织过世界各地的音乐会，多次在西方媒体上露面，并获得奖项。现居宁波，他正在写他的第二部小说《异教徒的夜晚》。Peter 拥有教育管理硕士学位，是宁波城市学院英语语言研究主任。